NPR : Judy Collins : Alphonse Vinh
Judy Collins: Sanity & Grace
Judy Collins' new book, Sanity & Grace: A Journey of Suicide, Survival, and Strength explores how her life changed forever in January 1992, when her only son, Clark Taylor, committed suicide. He was 33 years old and left behind a wife, their little girl and his mother to wonder why.
On a clear early morning in October, the singer-songwriter joined me for breakfast to speak about her book. She wore a stylish black cape over a dark woolen suit. In person she is warm, open, expressive.
"The origins for the book were inside the journals I've been keeping for probably 35 years," Collins says. "I try to find a day during the week when I make time for my journal even when I'm on the road on a tour. When Clark died, I wrote in my journal to make sense of his death. It took years for me to recover. And in one sense, you never get over it."
Collins has been a tireless crusader for suicide survivors. She has used her personal pain to help others get through theirs. For her work, she received the 2000 Survivor Award given by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP).
Every year more than 30,000 Americans take their own lives, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. Former Surgeon General David Satcher noted that suicide "affects more than 4.5 million people who are considered 'survivors,' as they have a close friend or a family member who lost their life to suicide."
Collins has done extensive research on the subject, and the books she suggests for survivors are wide-ranging. The singer advises suicide survivors to join groups of others like themselves. "I starting going to a survivors' group and heard other stories, and I told them my story," she remembers. "I learned from that tool. Suicide is the result of a disease and should be treated as such."
A psychologist named Edwin Shneidman has provided guidance for Collins. Dr. Shneidman is the founder of the American Association of Suicidology, which aims to understand and prevent suicide. His case studies are beautifully written and deeply compassionate. Suicide, says Shneidman, is the result of psychache, or a state of "intolerable psychological pain."
His book The Suicidal Mind, profoundly influenced the singer. "I just love Edwin," Collins says. "After Clark died and I was trying to cope with the grief, a friend got me his phone number and I picked up the courage to call him in Los Angeles. We've become good friends."
Collins, a recovering alcoholic, notices how suicide is often linked to depression worsened by drugs and alcohol. She advises keeping a journal to "get out the feelings and ideas." Despite his attempts, her son never overcame his alcoholism.
"When you're recovering, stay clear of alcohol and drugs. I need my mind to be clear and I try to create a network of friendships and support systems. I also believe in a healthy diet, exercise, and meditation. You have to also depend upon God or your Higher Power." Collins says emphatically, "Before you take your own life, you have to try everything else."
Last June Collins went with her family to Hazelden, the respected addiction treatment organization in Minnesota. There they dedicated a bench to her son. She writes, "We talked of Clark's humor and kindness, his love of sobriety, his struggle to live and love and be of service." Clark's daughter Hollis listened to people who loved her father and learned more about the special man he was. Collins concludes, "Someone will sit on the bench, I am sure, and play a guitar. Tears will fall there, and laughter echo. My son's spirit lives on."
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